accepting God’s Love While Struggling With Abandonment
A Reflection on Psalms 22
“My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you so far away when I groan for help? Everyday I call out to you, my God, but you do not answer. Every night I lift my voice, but I find no relief.”
Psalms 22 is one of the most raw and honest passages in the Bible. David doesn’t hold back, he brings his pain, his confusion, and his questions directly to God. Before we unpack specific verses, it’s important to understand the full context of this chapter. David moves from deep anguish to confident praise, showing us what it looks like to wrestle with God and still trust Him.
When You Feel Like God Isn’t There
David opens with a cry many of us have felt but may be too afraid to say out loud: “Why have you abandoned me?” He describes praying day and night without relief, feeling like God is distant despite his desperation.
If I’m honest, this is something I’ve wrestled with in my own life. As I’ve taken my faith more seriously and tried to build a relationship with God, there has always been a part of me that felt disconnected. I struggled to fully believe that God loved me or cared about me, and for a long time, I didn’t understand why.
Recently, I realized that the root of that struggle was abandonment. From a young age, I experienced what it felt like to be left by the people who were supposed to love me the most. That shaped the way I saw everything: my relationships, my worth, and even God. I learned to believe that I couldn’t trust people and that maybe I was unlovable. Without realizing it, I carried that belief into my relationship with God.
So when I read verses 1–2, I don’t just see David, I see every moment I cried out in pain, asking God “why?” I remember nights of praying through tears, begging for relief, and feeling like there was no answer. Because the pain didn’t immediately go away, I assumed God didn’t care or that He wasn’t listening. I thought He had abandoned me too.
David shows us that even strong faith doesn’t mean the absence of questions. It means bringing those questions to God anyway.
Truth Over Feelings
Right after expressing his pain, David says: “Yet you are holy… our ancestors trusted in you, and you rescued them.” Despite how he feels, he anchors himself in what he knows to be true about God.
That shift is powerful. It reminds us that feelings are real, but they are not always reliable. Emotions can make us believe that God is distant, silent, or uncaring, but that doesn’t make it true.
God sees every tear, every prayer, and every moment of suffering. Just because He doesn’t respond the way we expect or in the timing we want doesn’t mean He has abandoned us. David refuses to let his circumstances redefine who God is, and that’s the same posture we have to learn.
God Has Always Been There
David later says, “You have been my God from the moment I was born… do not stay so far from me, for trouble is near.” Even in his pain, he acknowledges that God has always been present.
That realization has been transformative for me. As I’ve worked through my own abandonment wounds, I’ve started to see that God has been orchestrating my life the entire time, even in the moments that felt confusing or painful. He was there when people left. He was there in every environment I grew up in. He was there before I even knew how to recognize Him.
And the same is true for you. Even when it feels like God is far away, He is still present. He is with you in the pain, not just in the blessings. He’s listening when you cry, even when you feel unheard.
When You Feel Like You Have Nothing Left
David describes feeling completely drained: “My strength has dried up… you have laid me in the dust.” This is the kind of exhaustion that goes beyond physical, it’s emotional and spiritual.
There will be seasons where you feel like you have nothing left to give. Seasons where healing feels slow and hope feels distant. I won’t pretend to have a perfect answer for what that looks like on the other side because I am not there yet, but I do know this: God restores. Healing may not be instant, but it is happening, even when you can’t fully see it yet.
Jesus Understands Your Pain
In verses 16–18, David describes suffering that mirrors Jesus’ crucifixion. This isn’t random. When Jesus was on the cross, He cried out the same words: “At about three o’clock, Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” which means “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” (Matthew 27:46-54).
Think about that. Jesus, fully God and fully human, experienced the feeling of abandonment you and I feel at the height of His suffering. He understands what it feels like to be in pain, to feel alone, and to cry out to God in desperation.
But what happens next is just as important. Jesus releases His spirit, He is freed from His suffering and fulfills the promise that would bring us into relationship with God. Through Him, we are not left to carry our pain alone.
This means your suffering is not misunderstood. You serve a God who has experienced it firsthand.
What I appreciate most about Jesus’ experience on the cross was that He did not free Himself from the pain and suffering He was experiencing. He chose to remain in His humanity and fully experience what we go through. I believe if He has released Himself from the cross that would’ve made us believe that we too can release ourselves from our suffering but we can’t. God released Him from His suffering in the same way God releases us from our suffering.
There Is Purpose in the Pain
David pleads for God to rescue him, to take the suffering away. And if we’re honest, we’ve all prayed that prayer. We want relief. We want the pain to end.
If God removed that specific suffering immediately, it would keep us from developing trust, dependence, and intimacy with Him. God is not a genie, He doesn’t simply erase pain on command. Instead, He walks with us through it, using it to shape us.
I’ve had to confront this in my own life. There were so many times I begged God to take away the pain of abandonment, and when He didn’t, I felt even more abandoned. But through this process, I’m learning that healing requires surrender. It requires bringing the pain to God instead of masking it or trying to fix it on my own.
God Has Not Ignored You
Later in the chapter, David declares: “He has not ignored or belittled the suffering of the needy. He has not turned his back on them, but has listened to their cries for help” (Psalms 22:24). That is the truth we have to hold onto.
God has not ignored your pain. He has not dismissed your suffering. He has not turned His back on you, no matter what it feels like. He hears you, and He cares deeply.
Sometimes healing requires going back to God again and again, just like Jesus cried out more than once. Keep talking to Him. Keep bringing your heart to Him. Over time, that weight you’re carrying will begin to lift.
From Pain to Praise
David ends the chapter in a completely different place than where he started. He speaks of joy, restoration, and future generations knowing about God’s goodness. That shift reminds us that pain is not the final destination.
As you continue to seek God, even in the middle of your suffering, He will fill you with a joy that only He can give. A joy that heals, restores, and transforms.
And your story won’t just be for you. Whether it’s your children, your audience, or the people around you, your testimony will become evidence of God’s faithfulness. What you’ve gone through will point others back to Him.
Reflection & Shadow Work
Take a moment to sit with this:
📖 Shadow Work Prompt #1: What feels unsafe about getting close to God?
📖 Shadow Work Prompt #2: What am I afraid will happen if I fully open my heart to Him?
📖 Shadow Work Prompt #3: Where did I feel God was in the moments I felt abandoned? Have those thoughts changed? Why or why not?
📖 Shadow Work Prompt #4: What evidence do I have that God has been consistently present in my life?
Affirmation & Final Encouragement
I am learning to trust a love that does not leave.
When it feels like God is silent, He is not absent. Even when you feel abandoned, you are still deeply seen and loved. You don’t have to hide your questions, your pain, or your doubts, bring them to Him. Like David, you can be honest and still be faithful.
Stay with Him. Keep seeking Him. Keep trusting, even when it’s hard.
Because the same God who heard David, who sustained Jesus, and who carried you this far is not going anywhere, and He will restore you in ways you didn’t even know you needed.
